Discipline will make you a free man as long as you follow more rules and apply more limits in your life
I’ve always perceived discipline as a skill that makes people more rigid. My creative personality and a secret passion for improvising made me less inclined to follow the rules. This was good for my creativity but not the best for my day-to-day life. The pain I created and the energy I wasted trying to bend the rules or not follow them at all didn’t pay off. When I finally decided to follow the rules, I started struggling. I had to change old beliefs and habits, which we all know it’s quite challenging to do. I had to learn from scratch how to plan, tools to use, how to focus more, and how to do things I don’t necessarily like. I secretly admired people that were naturally very organized, they made being discipline seem so easy. I learned enough to go on with my daily affairs, but I am far from a master planner.
When I realized that the very thing that I dislike is the thing that will set me free, I took some time to reflect.
I started imagining that it’s a storm outside and I am safe inside, next to the fireplace, having a cup of hot choco and reading my favorite book. The winds, the thunder, the lightning, the rain, and all the riot represent all the distractions in the world (media, emotions, beliefs, uncertainty, wounds). While cozy in my house, I noticed there is one problem: I don’t have any wood to keep warm. What do I do then? The best thing to do is to go outside, through the storm, and get the wood. It’s not pleasant, but being cold is more unpleasant.
Discipline is still doing what you need to do even if you don’t feel like it
What are the things that are necessary but boring in day-to-day life? How much cleaning, or paying bills or other administrative things do you do per day so you can feel the results at a later time? How often do you run after instant gratification? Instant gratification is a saturated topic only because people are suckers for it!
We all talk about connecting with our inner child. That amazing, playful, creative, loving inner child that… guess what? … is also very spoiled. Children want instant gratification, they demand it and while growing up we are still inclined to behave like that! Sometimes, growing up means liking the “boring stuff” that a child doesn’t like.
You can actually train yourself to be happy that are cleaning, you are paying the bills, you are working by getting excited about the end result before you start. if I think about cleaning as “I can’t wait to see my house spacious again, without any clutter!” – I will become excited to start cleaning. Don’t underestimate the power of enthusiasm!
Besides the enthusiasm, find a simple way to do things. Make that your mantra or motto! If things are perceived as simple, you will be more inclined to do more.
Think about the pain that not doing something will cause you! It’s not pretty, huh? So just get up and do what you have to do!
Discipline is an act of self-love
You can measure self-love by the degree of discipline you have. By doing things that are necessary and respecting deadlines you have less reason to stress, less drama, and more room to focus on things that you don’t like. By saying “no” to things you don’t want or need can significantly make you feel better. You can be polite and still say “no”, as long as the message is said in a kind way.
What other tools can help you become more disciplined?
- assertiveness in setting boundaries; say “no” with kindness
- techniques and tools to get things done
- working on yourself and knowing your weaknesses and triggers
- good food for energy
- sleep
- forgive yourself if you slip
- having fun while doing chores
- well-planned breaks
- meditation
When is the best time to learn discipline? Anytime is the right time; regardless of the circumstances, education, upbringing, etc. If you see you need more discipline in your life just go and get it (learn it)!
Ideally, this is essentially an amazing gift that parents can give to their children. Kudos to the parents that succeed in teaching kids to be disciplined early on. Make kids realize that life is not only made out of things you like but also out of things you need and both cases need attention and action.
